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The NBA Draft is over and Will Blalock was drafted but somebody wasn't ...I found this clip on youtube that shows what could have been. I also came upon this old clip of Johnny Orr telling Dick Vitale that he kicked his teams ass. Classy!
The holiday weekend is almost here and I'm ready to sleep, drink and be with Mary. The German in the VW ad's might have been familiar to you, he's also a German in Fargo and The Big Lebowski. Two of the greatest movies ever...don't question it.
I'll admit it, I have a internet addiction problem. My latest site to waste time at is youtube You can almost find anything that ever was captured on film or tape, that isn't X rated. Like these awesome music video's by Journey, Eddie Murphy, and Rick James bitch! Or you can enjoy hilarious VW ad's like these Unpimp1, Unpimp2, Unpimp3.
I've been watching this season of Last Comic Standing and their are three comics that I really like and one of them I caught 2 years ago at the boat. Here's some of their standup Josh Blue, Chris Porter and Kristin Key.
Not much to write but I did see this video about a guy trying to cancel his AOL account. This craziest thing here is people still use AOL dial-up?
Went home for father's day and Brad's birthday. We took Brad to see Car's...which is basically Doc Hollywood meets Nascar meets Pixar. But I would still recommend seeing it on DVD.
I'm getting my mail a few minutes ago, after a hard days work to see my neighbor next door (who happens to be a Sioux County Sheriff) received his new ride today. Now typically I'm not envious of the typical police cruiser, but today I know why my taxes are paying for hemi's.
Moment of Zen - Courtesy of Kelly Kreber
I'm 99.9% sure this entire site by this guy is fake, but it's funny enough to watch a few of his daily moments.
I stumbled upon these two video links today of Howard Stern and thought I would share...kinda interesting on how far things have changed.
The week is half over! Yippeee!
If a loser call's you a loser does anyone hear it other then them? I'm pretty sure Lohan is sleeping this old gay guy and what's the deal with the leather hand shit.
The weekend flew by and another week is before me. I was also reminded again of how everyone knows someone who knows another who knows you. Which sounds like a lyric from a lame '60's song by an artist that escapes my head. Point is, since when do old ass gay guys get mob'd by Lohan, Hilton and Simpson? Is this his "Make A Wish?" If it is, I'm sure he'd rather be be in the middle of this.
I had 20 minutes of metrosexual experience today...and I think I kinda liked it. I actually went to my first real "salon" for men. I felt like singing show tunes and complaining about my man...but then I realized I'm straight. So I didn't, moral of the story, I can now see why women pay more to "Get there hair did" then a dinner for two. I am a princess!!
That was a fast 3 day weekend...the wedding was really nice. A new grill bizarrely appeared in Mary's garage, but it needed assembled by Kelly and myself. Then today, I was graced with the good fortune of going into work on a holiday. But that went just smooth as well. Here's to a smooth week.
A three day weekend is ahead, which means graduations and another wedding. A good thing about not being married, is it gives me the opportunity to see all the things I would never do/have at any future wedding I may have. Wedding dances are great for the single guys, the single and recently divorced women sense they will be lonely forever if they don't start kicking their husband search into OverDrive. So all you single guys, read the paper for area wedding dances, show up and be a proxy-husband for a night. Maybe it will turn out to be something great that last forever, but it won't. The next morning will turn into a moment that enables ass-clown's like Dr. Phil to have a syndicated show about how f'd in the A some people are.
The Rain stopped, gas will never go down and I bought a new I-Pod charger. America's Original Top Model can grow a sweet mustache that's Pedro worthy...Gosh!!! The good news? It's Friday!
Will the rain ever stop? Will gas prices go down? Will I find my I-Pod charger?
Well I paid for the new garage door today (handle now included) Exciting I know...if anyone's interested in taking up a collection or making a mob hit on the mob, let me know.
Here's a hot Kelly Clarkson, here's a hot dog in Kelly Clarkson. I'm not sure I want to have any 'somes with her now....or maybe I do.
Between my e-mail from Paul Shirley and the mass execution of snakes by Brad, it was a good weekend.
All my ex's live on welfare. And welfare is the thing that they all love to
be on. For those who read this my new
garage door is installed and looking nice (still missing a handle) Now
who thinks that someone mentioned below will actually pay for her accident?
Have a great Easter everybody!
Dumb ex's who are still driving the car that needed fixed 1 year ago and didn't get fixed because your's truly wouldn't co-sign on a car loan apparently love to crash into your garage door to surprise you. (Note my car was in the garage the whole time, so no it wasn't me) It could be worse I guess....I could still be with her. Shutter.
I still don't have all my video edited and images yet. So I decided to do just the Grand Canyon for tonight. Here's a few of the main pictures from the west rim and some video with a little bit of extra footage captured on our way back.
Well I'm back from my vacation and I'll be posting all my pictures and video soon. Here's a quick clip of one of the places we visited....and no we didn't go on this.
Now it's time to get ready to go to KC for work.
Zoe sent me a nice link today of someone who is capitalizing on the Chuck Norris parody that never gets old. I thought what better time then to show my favorite "Walker, Texas Ranger" clip that features that kid from The Sixth Sense
I really don't have much to say other then I'm looking forward to this weekend and next week. I did stumble upon a news article about a really insane Iowa guy by the name of Travis Frey Apparently this guy wrote up his own marriage contract for his wife that was just a little over the top. You decide.
Some bastard published his book and claim's to be the Internet Dating Guru. Well according to this web site and my former one, I was working on this almost 2 years ago. Ask anyone that know's me, I'm the Yoda and Master Splinter of Internet Dating. You can only truly master something if you have experienced defeat and victory...those who know me totally know about the defeats and know I obtained victory. Suing the author's of the book has crossed my mind, but of course they won't sell that many books since the content I'm sure isn't worth the paper it's written on.
I found something Jack Black and some friends made several years ago that's quite possibly the weirdest funny thing I've seen in a long time. You'll need Quicktime to view these video's but you should have that anyway. Enjoy!
Computer Man Episode 1 - Computer Man Episode 2
Not a whole lot to write about. I did stumble upon something really hilarious...a porn version of American Idol hosted by Jenna Jameson and judged by among other's Ron Jeremy. But I do have two moments of zen that rock! So enjoy.
Well I decided to get my inner nerd on this last week and start playing with modifying WIFI gear. After doing some research, I decided to go with a USB adapter over a PCMCIA card, since USB is digital and a loss less connection when using cabling. I then decided make a crude antenna out of a large popcorn bowl and a roll of aluminum foil. I then cut a hole in the center of the bowl and placed the adapter in the center. The finished project all for under $40, looked like this. After some testing, everything seems to be working surprisingly well. I'll post more detailed info and results later.
Another Christmas is in the bag. This year was definitely not like any I can remember. I took part in my first Ballard family gathering, which was nice. I also was able to spend time with all of my dad's brother's and sisters while they were home for the funeral of my grandmother. Funeral's are always a reminder for me that people don't remember you until you are gone...or maybe that's appreciate you.
Thanksgiving is over and I hopefully can still fit into my work get-up in the morning. A little voice keeps telling me that I need to lose 3 more pounds of I'll never be pretty...but so far I haven't listened real well. Divis and his girl Steph were back for the weekend and we took in what there is to take in Sioux City. To finish the day we decided to take in a movie, which due to our timing ended up being "The Ice Harvest" The movie sounded and could have had potential, but the script sucked. It told a story, but one that wasn't that great and didn't really matter. It was cool to spend some time with Lil J and catch up. Mary and I also took in the ISU vs Kansas game at Kelly's house. History does repeat itself and it's sucks...I guess I've never been to Houston. :)
Mary took me to see Colin Mochrie and Brad Sherwood perform at Orpheum in Sioux City. Before the show I was able to take in for the first time, how much work and money was put into restoring it into a place that could actually draw a quality act. I was curious how far Colin and Brad would go with so many pre-teen's in the audience. But they were able to be totally entertaining for 2+ hours without parents concerned that their children might learn a new 4 letter word. I would definitely recommend seeing them if you get a chance.
If you haven't seen it already, I would highly suggest watching The Office on NBC. It's crude and rude, which makes it extremely funny. You can download the first season and the start of the second season here using bit torrent. Enjoy.
Damn it feels good to be a Cyclone! I traveled to Ames for the weekend to start tailgating officially at 5:15 am Saturday. The amount of people in town was insane along with the amount of beer that was being consumed by the masses. But it was all worth it, just to get to watch in person a laying of the smack down on a formerly #8 in the country Iowa team. Thousands, including myself stormed the field and formed a giant mosh pit of ISU crazies.
I'm alive, but all I have is a moment of zen for you. I wish that I had a picture of myself with a celebrity friend who was dead...Pass The Shirley Temple bitches!
I went to my second Saturday in The Park this weekend and took in Robert Randolph & The Family Band along with The Black Crowes. Both groups put on a really great show and I would definitely recommend seeing either group live if you have the chance.
When did the news become Entertainment Tonight and Inside Edition? I don't care if Tom Cruise is proclaiming on Oprah he's not really gay and really loves Joey from Dawson's Creek. I don't care if Michael Jackson's been told he can't take his wig's with him to prison if he's convicted. I don't care if Jessica Simpson had a 3-way with Johnny Knoxville and Bam Margera while filming the Duke's of Hazzard. I don't care if Britney Spears thinks.." pregnant sex is the best and the sex is crazy good." Why don't I care? Because none of this matters, yet the American public can't seem to fill their already bloated crap filled minds with it. Maybe it's because there lives are so sad, that they must live vicariously through this celebrity rock and roll lifestyle. In the time of reality filled TV where anyone can be someone to this group, it gives hope to them, that they too can be future TIVO content that's never viewed.
I've decided I need to find my creative juices and see what it tastes like. I'm beginning to dabble in digital music composition and writing a guide to internet dating. Maybe guide isn't the description I'm going after, but perhaps an avoidance list. While talking to a former college classmate online this evening I said something enlightening...well at least he found it so. "I'm sure it would be better if things ended like they do in movies, but most of the time things end like they do in my life." Here's a animated short by some guys that I found hilarious. You may have to watch it a couple to times to catch everything. SHUN!!!
I attended my first "nerdcore" event last night in Sioux Falls with Benson. MC Chris aka Chris Ward (the man who provides the voice behind reoccurring characters on ATHF and Hesh on Sealab 2021) was the headliner of the show. He rocked the mic for over an hour while stopping at times to bust on himself and the audience on anything that popped in his head. After the show Benson and I had this picture snapped with Chris...no I'm not that big, he's just that small.
I need to start eating right and get all fit. Like any unfit person I obtain most of my health knowledge from infomercial's. The newest trend in eating now is to eat massive quantities of vegetables. Eat vegetables, eat lots of vegetables, order our book and eat some vegetables. But what they don't tell you about vegetables, the dirty little secret about vegetables, is that vegetables suck. Have you guy's ever eaten this shit before? Oh it's pretty, but it tastes like f@cking garbage. I know what you all are thinking, "Come on Eric, what about the carrot?" F@ck the carrot, carrot's suck. "What about carrot cake Eric?" Ok, you got me, I love carrot cake. I often get confused how something as delicious and delectable as carrot cake can come from something as evil as a carrot? It doesn't make any sense. Sort of like this (Momma Rap) video clip I found of Mr. T
Having a girlfriend is a pretty big adjustment for anyone. For me it was an even bigger adjustment than Dale Earnhardt made when he had to stop racing because he died in a car crash. Basically what I’m saying is that I’m now in MapQuestless world. I feel out of place, like Vin Diesel would in a room full of actors, or anywhere else because he’s Vin Diesel.
There are a lot of little things that having a girlfriend entails that a serial one-night-stand man like myself overlooked when I got into this situation. Tampons are one of them. Understanding that girls have a period, and then seeing physical evidence of it in the garbage can when you brush your teeth in the morning are two completely different things. It’s like the difference between knowing that the holocaust happened and watching Schindler’s List.
Another thing that twists my tit is that I can’t see my pre-girlfriend friends anymore. I just don’t have any time. I’m constantly going with her places, or watching Ashley Judd movies with her, or going with her to Blockbuster to rent Ashley Judd movies. Also, this girlfriend situation happened during the same week that a.) switched cell phone carriers b.) my DSL was down and c.) I ran out of lotion. All this, coupled with the aforementioned fact that a night with just my friends has become about as common as a sold out Limp Bizkit concert, has caused me a complete loss of communication with the outside world. The only news I get from the outside is what I read on bathroom walls at Toys"R"Us. I think I need to go pray.
Today's Moment of Zen
Well Valentines Day also celebrated among others as Singles Awareness Day
or S.A.D. has come and went again. So what better way to celebrate being single
then giving you a link to a site for a bar that encompass's the punch line
to many jokes I've told and heard. To quote my hero, Carl Brutananadilewski
"Jackpot! I knew there was something special about you and I'm not just
saying that 'cause you're a whore, but you are a total whore." Check
it out
I came upon something on the web this week that blew my frickin skull....a midget KISS cover band named Mini KISS. I have to see them in person before I die. Doctor Love as performed by Mini KISS, it just brings a tear to my eye.
As I stood in line today at the local Walmart (yeah I know Walmart) I observed something seen time and time again by me. An incredibly hot chick with a loser...I say loser because he was flirting with the high school aged cashier as his girl unpacked there cart by herself. Without thinking I blurted out "Behind every hot girl is a man that is tired of f@cking her" It got her attention, a laugh and her boyfriend to ask me the proverbial "What's up?" Nothing..nothing at all.
Since the dawn of man kind things have been combined to make something entirely altogether different, but ultimately better then the individual items on there own. Things like BLT's, Cheese Balls and Female Mud Wrestling are what this country was built on. In keeping with those great combo's, three Californian's decided to use brains and American passion to make something truly amazing, "Whore Golfing" I can just picture the sales pitch "Guys love to golf, guys love strippers, guys love whores, so let's ummm you know, put them all together and put on a tournament." Check it out.
If you were a fan of the American Pie series and Bunny Lebowski you'll love these images and video of the girl next door, turn crack whore, Tera Reid. Apparently on a coke binge in Mexico she decided to have a boob job done by Dr. Nick Riviera. To quote the late Rick James, "Cocaine is a hell of a drug" Well this time it made Tara lose half of her dress while in front of hundreds of paparazzi at a P-Diddy party. But the worse part lies somewhere above and below her nipple. Check it out.
The Saddest Guy:With the Star Wars Trilogy being released on DVD I thought everyone would get a laugh out of Simon Jansen. He has taken the first release Star Wars movie and completely redone it in ASCII. One guy who has two things on his hands, time and ..... well you know. I hope his girlfriend doesn't get pissed at me.;)