Eric Ortner grew up in Iowa, as a poor white child, who knew that there was more to life then singing and dancing on the family's porch. He soon discovered he wasn't really poor when he entered college. While in college, Eric polished his computer skills and discovered that green grass does burn. After graduating from college he found a job that allowed him the luxury of living in Iowa, but with the look and feel of a foreign adult film without the poor dialog and awkward gazes.

-Eric's List of Career Goals to Accomplish-

1. Learn to keep time

2. Join the carnival

3. Become rich and famous

4. Save countless Mexican felines from the evils of cat-juggling

Established 2004